Must Be My Fault
Dear Ruth,My daughter is 3.8 years old and no one can understand her but me. I have tried day in and day out to get her to speak the words she so desperately wants to say. Her brother is 6 years old and has been talking since he was about 11 months. I had my appendix out while I was 3 months pregnant and am convinced this is my fault. Do you think that she should be talking clearly by now? Do you think that the medications I was given during surgery has caused this? She is very smart; she can do the numbers and alphabet better than most kids I know.
K.S.
Dear K.S.,
Please let go of the idea that your daughter's speech problem is your fault. Plenty of children whose mothers did not require surgery have similar problems. If you are unable to let yourself off the hook on this, please get some counseling--ask your physician for someone knowledgeable about the facts of these issues as well as skilled in counseling. It is not good for your daughter that you hold this guilt, and it interferes with your ability to be completely present in helping her with her difficulty.
Children of your daughter's age need to be able to make themselves understood most of the time. It is vitally important to get her started in a treatment program so that her difficulties can be investigated and addressed. Three-year-olds are eligible for speech therapy at school. You can also ask her physician for a referral to a speech/language pathologist who might be able to assess and begin treatment more quickly, and provide a more intensive beginning to get her moving.
Best Wishes,
Ruth Alice Jurey, M.S., C.C.C.
Speech/Language Pathologist
I wish
to encourage
belief
in the
human ability
to learn.
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